Hell no! Spanking teaches fear in place of respect. oh my goodness, your are not a bad parent at all!! Let it out; just dont take it out on them. I can tell you from first-hand experience that you cannot get a child of 8 or older to lay across your lap for a spanking. On average, one out of three of our kids will get a spanking from me every two months or so. May not copy or download more than 500 consecutive verses of the ESV Bible or more than one half of any book of the ESV Bible. Please help, in the past I have spanked my child and years later she is very, very upset about it. It also wont help you be a more effective parent. And youll be less likely to feel guilty when you issue that punishment. Screwing up your kid takes more than spanking it takes neglectful parenting. If a child is misbehavingif he keeps swearing, or playing with matchesand then you spank that child, the behavior stops immediately. Instead, you can involve your child in coming up with appropriate punishments, such as loss of TV time or. 3 year old with bad teeth - feel ashamed of myself. We, as parents, have more stressors from being the sole teacher, friend, waitress, chef, and mom in the household while keeping everyone socially and emotionally healthy our plates are full. To be honest, your child will test your patience limits many times as they grow up with all the bad behavior they get up to. As long as the spanking isn't habitual, his fear will be forgotten soon. So, I got spanked as a child and my wife did not. Set a stellar example of how youd like them to behave, and they should follow it. Required fields are marked *. Do the same thing with the second half of the day. Is it an all-out battle, running around the house, screaming, cursing? We unpack it little by little, and one day, we will change. He has been quite defiant all day but just would not go to sleep for OH so i went up & sat for ages. But having to get up from playing or a snack to burp for fun eventually gets boring, and the behavior tends to extinct on its own. Were all doing the best we can for our children. Yes, you can spank or hit your child too hard. Why Do Teenage Daughters Hate Their Mothers? The bruises and cuts on the child should have resulted in a report to a county DSS . But take a step back if you feel like youre going to blow your top. Not quite sure what to say to make you feel less guilty. In fact, being consumed by your guilt can lead you to make decisions based on your emotions instead of logic, which isnt always a good thing. If your child is not listening to you and ignoring your requests constantly, then time-out would be the best strategy. Spanking is one of the most controversial issues when it comes to parenting. Ill explain why sparking isnt a way out and alternatives to discipline your child. Create clearly established codes of behavior and punishments beforehand. But we also must be kind to ourselves as parents when we mess up. Another great technique is to take away the things your kid enjoys the most. According to a meta-analysis published in the Journal of Family Psychology, years of research show that spanking doesn't work to change kids' behavior. For example, a rod is used to guide the wandering sheep. It is perfectly natural and normal to get angry at your kids from time to time. You can also model how to apologize, and that its possible to change behavior. (Id begged her to give me the new pair after my old ones turned yellow.) All those things can't be hidden. We spank when needed (like running in the road) but never on bare skin. So, if youre concerned about your behavior and dont know how to react under such circumstances, then youve landed on the right page. You have to build the framework to teach them what is and isnt appropriate in certain settings. For us, when my kids are tiny and making unsafe mistakes I do a quick hand squeeze . He fears that I'm going to spank him again. She will look me in the eyes, know the spank is lurking, and do whatever it is she wanted anyway. But spanking may make him think that "I'm bad and no one loves me." I am guilty of spanking my children. 28 Jan 07. The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother (Proverbs 29:15ESV). Parent Better Without Yelling: Yes, There's a Way! You have to choose whats best for you and your family. Being locked in a room and getting spanked by a belt is not something your kid should remember whenever he thinks about his childhood. Caroline, try not to stress yourself about it, as everyone is saying we all have a limit, you reached yours and reacted in a way you wouldnt normally. Home I Spanked My Child And Feel Guilty. Am I a good mother? My education and experience combined have taught me a lot about children of every stage and age, and I hope that I can help you on your journey to becoming the best parent that you can be! There is no need to make a massive handbook of rules for the family. But my youngest grabbed a marker and drew it all over the walls in the hallway. Your email address will not be published. As a result of which, as the child misbehaves more, spanking also becomes frequent. Indeed, were in ultra-stressful times now. I think that's a very good alternative. If youre worried about hurting your child, then that is a genuine concern. Grand Rapids, MI 49501 He usually stops, first looks at me then stops. She was more like our other daughter obedient, kind, toed the line. There are a few things to remember about feeling guilty. Boy, was I angry! After one too many "passes", I finally had enough and spanked him once on the ass. It undermines trust and damages the bond between you and your child that should allow him to be confident and flourish. Spanking teaches children that violence is the way to make people do what you want. Don't be too hard on yourself - just try to think of what created the situation that made you snap and be on the look-out for it next time so you can take some evasive action! A lot of Mum's may never reach that snapping point, but trust me, a lot do. So I told her I would take her tablet away as thats what Id warned her about the other day (and had told her taking her tablet for a week would be the punishment). I am going to keep working on my own reactions, so that I can rely on better strategies in the future. Then, wait patiently on them to be done with their fit or attitude before going into the store. Hi there..i just need to vent i feel so awful. Related. Senator Ted Cruz recently stated that he spanks his five-year-old daughter for lying. When I discussed corporal punishment in my other recent post, you probably had an inkling that you can over-discipline your child. You can also seriously hurt them because of your height and strength differences. Join a community who are there to listen, share information and offer valuable advice. If you have bigger kids, have them help make some of the rules. If you can, try to let the guilt go. Discover More Here, Your email address will not be published. I do believe that spanking or harsher types of discipline, like when belts or objects (also known as abuse) are used, there are greater social and emotional deficits for children that arise, like lower self-esteem, more aggressive behaviors from the child, academic issues, and so on. You probably feel worse than your child does, but I want you to know that its okay. Do not say or do anything else until you have . Tell your kid all the possible consequences that he will face if he doesnt behave appropriately. As she learns about consequences, you can help her by setting boundaries. Stay in the loop with our daily NEWS email, I have read and understood Netmums' Privacy Notice and Terms & Conditions, Ideas for 3rd birthday day out for little boy? I think my ears are still ringing from his protests. Sometimes, parents frustration becomes the reason for the spanking. Theyre developing new skills and learning how to be more independent all at the same time. What Hitting Does to My Dogs. Suggested Reading: Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 29:15. Hell yes with a switch (a small branch pulled from a tree in my yard). He has started to get after more things than he used to and I have a small apartment. You're not a bad parent. However I don't do it often. If I am feeling overwhelmed, and we are playing a game like Candyland and my kids are losing their marbles, we will stop the game and go outside. It would have been setting him up to fail. Nonetheless, if you have to ask I spanked my child, now what? then you can take refuge in the fact you are very normal to feel guilty about it, and very normal to admit that youve done it. Its simply telling your child what you like about their behavior. Sitting little ones in time out is surprisingly effective. Even though I was spanked as a child. Lock yourself in the bathroom for a little bit if you have to. Parents' approval ratings for physical. Parenting is hard. I remember the worst spanking came after mom got me a brand new pair of white shoes for a school event. When my daughter does things like this I punish her by clearly stating to her my displeasure, then reducing my attention for her. Things such as having everyone pick up after themselves and speaking nicely to everyone in the house are a good start. My mom spanked me to enforce the idea that money doesnt grow on trees. After opening the box I decided to wear them inside the house to break them in. I remember the kids in my fourth grade class being so. However, parents can prevent this by being clear about their expectations. And just in case you need to hear this, you are not a monster! She promised she wouldnt do it again. For example, if your little one usually throws temper tantrums, consider creating a prize box full of small treats, toys, and stickers. I am a mother to three wonderful children, and recently welcomed a beautiful grandson into the world as well as into my home. Breathe: When you were angry, your body was in survival mode - your heart rate was up, your breathing was shallow, your muscles were tense and your thinking was not clear. Television has violence that can lead to your kids developing aggression. Some argue that spanking is important for discipline, others find the practice antiquated and violent. I would just apologize for the spanking and tell him that you see he is making an effort, and he won't be spanked again. "When you said that, it hurt Daddy's feelings." --> GUILT. Spanking kids can cause tremendous damage to kids' mental health - even if it is an occasional light rap. However, after your action, your kid may correct his behavior, but it will undoubtedly leave you feeling guilty. Today, spanking hitting a child on the buttocks with an open hand is still incredibly common. When I feel anxiety, or impatience, or motherly fear bubbling over, I change what we are doing, for my sanity and their safety. Research shows that children who are spanked are more likely to use physical force against their peers and later on with their own children. But if I hit my child and feel guilty, what can I do about it? When you buy through links on our site, As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a commission. This gray matter is also instrumental in regulating behavior. As I teach my girls, it is OK to be angry. He cannot repair who he is; he is a meanie. She was calm then, apologized, agreed she deserved punishment and helped me use one of those Magic Erasers on the wall to clean things up. When my kids run away from me at the beach and generally dont listen (I get fearful they will drown), we pack up and leave, a lesson theyll likely take much more seriously than a spanking anyway. Do not reject the child. Seeing your baby cry from the pain youve caused can be heartbreaking for you. Perhaps it was the day that your little one decided to push every button that you have. That means that you should appreciate the times they get it right. A new study shows how harmful that is. bless you, big hugs. Perhaps finding new ways to discipline your son or daughter will help you feel less guilty. So you cant dole out consequences to a baby. Now I feel terribly guilty. Give him three strikes and tell him that if he repeats this behavior, he wont get to watch TV, or you would take away his favorite toy. Get help. orange dipping sauce for spring rolls; misen best carbon steel pan. You might want to pick up a copy of "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence Cohen or "The Discipline Book" by Dr. Sears for some fresh ideas on how to discipline without spanking. Instead, a baby will learn if you tell them no and show them how they can nicely pat Daddys mustache. Everything is new and exciting to a baby. He has no recourse and no way to fix the problem. 2. Make sure that your children know what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not. We have our flaws. Apologize To Your Little One If You Feel That Youre In The Wrong, Spanking A Child Once Wont Cause Long Term Damage, No Drama Discipline The Whole Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child s Developing Mind, No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Childs Developing Mind. Get angry! Ive told her not to do this. It just doesn't. When you consider why most . 3 Practical Bottle Tips, 12 Year Old Daughter Attitude Problems 5 Practical Tips. And they cant pull the whole, but I didnt know, and whining bit on you. For whatever time you kid sit silently, it is a chance for him to collect his emotions and calm down. (616) 647-4500 "Sometimes anxiety can be hard to pinpoint as kids can manifest anxiety in different ways," said Dr. Khadijah Booth Watkins, associate director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at . Instead, heres what you can do to get much better results: Your child should feel like they can still come to you, even when they have done something wrong. All rights reserved. Hello, I am Ramsha. Dont let him get away with bad behavior but also let him choose his punishment. We all lose it at some point. So many of you want to know the answer to the age-old dilemma: I spanked my childnow what? Here are 5 things to do after you yell at your kids. When spanking my son, he started crying and crying as Ive never heard before, she told me. She wanted to discuss some off-limits topics for kids, so when they came to say hello to her, I asked them to keep busy while grownups talked privately. It was a mistake to spank him and you will work to not spank him again just as hard as he is working on him manners. It can also lead to aggression and antisocial behavior. The effect is so apparently obvious that it can drive a. About half an hour ago I hit my 2 year old daughter. It hurts a child's morale. (i.e. In contrast, other parents believe that spanking their children is the only way to discipline them and has made it a part of raising children. I was also beaten. Just keep ignoring the behavior. Are you a bad parent if you spank your child on occasion? Oh Caroline, please don't be hard on yourself. And when your kid starts to misbehave, you take your anger out by hitting him. In the '80s that was referred to as "tough love" or "putting kids in their place." Some referred to it as abuse but my father never wavered he was one of 7 kids and got the belt often. Worse, they are more likely to develop aggression and mental health issues. So, even if a majority of Americans approve of the practice only half of American parents actually spank their child. I am judging you. What the hell is wrong with burping, even? Few of the Bibles words may sound like pro-spanking. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Keys for KidsParent Minuteis a one-minute daily feature, hosted byGreg Yoder, the president of Keys for Kids Ministries. i spanked my child and now i feel guilty Posted in satellite dish parts near me Posted by By 2022 garbage calendar ottawa May 25, 2022 newton police officers This strategy is again a much controversial one. Spanking makes a child feel how a victim feels when they have been violently attacked by a perpetrator of an assault. Once your child is of school age, they will know how they should behave. Now they seek political asylum in California; Wing linked to the DEM-SP of Unio Brasil discusses Lottenberg or Milton Leite as vices for Rodrigo Garcia - 01 . Perhaps we spank or confuse our children with unclear punishments. Come together and agree on the terms and consequences. So, you came to your wits end and spanked your child. So, I have work to do. For some parents, the idea of spanking their kids is despicable. As long as his intentions are there, you don't expect perfection, you just expect politeness. The guilt was enough to make me realize that this disciplinary action is not for me. Spanking may also make your child suffer from low self-esteem, trust, and mental health issues. It "works" because it's external control over a child, but it doesn't promote internal decision-making. Your upbringing plays a most important role when it comes to using disciplinary strategies. Having these things in place doesnt mean your kids will always behave. But spanking may make your child look at you with fear in his eyes rather than trust and respect. But theyll be less likely to break the rules when expectations of rules and consequences are crystal clear. Instead of hitting your child, try other ways of punishing them and getting your point across so that your relationship can blossom. I know he's ok, but is it normal to continue to feel like this after all this time. As parents, we always have our childs best interests in mind. Chakras are the energy centers located in a physical body. The subject of spanking our kids is something my wife and I disagree on, namely because of how we were raised. Big hugs x, hi, im sorry to say i know how you feel, at least coz you feel bad you know it was worng. But its natural to get furious with your child sometimes. That part is pretty cool and makes me feel like the spank on his tush was appropriate. Hi, I spanked my dog a few months ago, I felt bad for doing so, but months later I still feel bad. And yet, I constantly threaten to do it and sometimes I follow through on that threat to spank our kids. I was taken away by child protective services when I was about 8 years old and when they took me I had over 50 bruises. We're a group of writers, mostly parents, some medically certified, who publish helpful articles for all stages of your child, from preemie, newborn, infant, to toddler. However, if youd like to try some other techniques to switch to spanking only on occasion or get rid of it altogether, here are some great ideas that work well with little ones. It was only if one of us had done something horrid and it was usually my Mother who spanked us. What are the consequences of hitting a child? I am sure that he understands everything I say to him .I redirect him I say to him the words (this a bad thing) so that he stops but he is laughs like he does not understand .I am trying a lot not to spank him the best thing you can do is to find a word and say it everytime he does something bad also your husband and everyone else who come to see him.Do not lose your pation stay calm but direct to him, we make the borders and we will see who will win at the end. 2023 mominformed.com - All Rights Reserved. What snacks do you give your little one before bed? My final advice is to set those consequences for your children. Sometimes kids get out of control and just need to be brought back down. I needed harsh. Wow. Amidst a vast sea of parenting experts, Greg is a real parent whos had successes and failures raising kids. Mo Mulla is a work from home dad who enjoys reading and listening to music, He loves being a dad and husband to a growing family. First, it offers you the chance to be a good role model for your little one. Its caused arguments between us and what we are both saying is correct discipline is needed for negative behaviors. But its not the end of the world, everyone makes mistakes and as long as you change your discipline style i dont think you have caused irreparable harm. I will not spank my children. This hurts me terribly because I don't want my son to be scared of me. Naturally, she turned on the waterworks. My wife hates it. Perhaps we scream and shout or say something we dont mean. I feel like spanking is an illogical punishment. Its about our kids and helping them grow into responsible, healthy, and ethical adults. 3 Spanking Alternatives, on I Hit My Child And Feel Guilty! My youngest, meanwhile, will use tears to try to manipulate us. Start off by acknowledging it to yourself. Asking leading questions really works for this like "where is your truck?" Its usually quick, a slight tap on the hands or a swat on a calf. To work, discipline should be firm yet fair. Also receive exclusive coupons! Makes a great gift! Please help. I told him several times to please work on controlling it (i.e - try to burp in your mouth). Hope that helps. If one of the rules is to pick up after yourself and your child doesnt, you may set a consequence for losing a privilege, like not using the tablet for fun and only for school work. You cant expect your 6-year-old child to follow the same rules as your teenager or have the same consequences. Tell him he learned his lesson and if he simply forgets to say "excuse me", it is not grounds for spanking. By the time he catches his breath again, he has usually forgotten what he was trying to do in the first place. He didnt have any bruises or anything like that, another sign that her spanking wasnt physically harmful. I might add, the removal of the outer layers is so the pain of the striking can be fully felt . britt ekland - (contributed by carolina jim) - from her book `true britt` the actress stated: "several times i collected a . i have a new(ish) baby and was so hormonal when pregnant, was scared by how fast i would get so angry. around 65% of parents in the US approve of the practice of spanking their child, spanking can lead to lasting psychological harm for kids, Toddler confronted about egg in the tailpipe, Toddler disasters are more common than you think, 33 signs your redneck baby will stay Republican, Child poverty in America is a silver spoon everywhere else. I've learned a great deal about raising children through my own experiences as a mother, but also from several other places. When i feel myself ready snap i go into another room and calm down for a minute xx. Ask your children what they think is a good consequence for not following the rules. I get this. Has anyone else done this and worked through it and everything is now ok? This neighbor has babysat for us over the years, and the children adore her. Is this an excuse to spank my kid? Being consistent with time outs is extremely important, though. Everything we do with our kids can have dire consequences when a positive, constructive approach is not taken. Besides, spanking once isnt going to harm your little one, butlong-term spanking is likely to cause long-term effects. Spanking is God's answer to keeping our children from being enslaved to the foolishness that is bound up in their hearts. Spanking can be humiliating and demeaning to a child, chipping away at self-esteem and morale. I would feel bad but not cry in front of her about it. But your little boy cried at the shock of it - not because you hurt him! Step 4: Apologize in a way that is validating. My other half works nights and leaves at 6pm every night and thats when she plays up. I would never put her through that if he was not well behaved. Came after mom got me a brand new pair of white shoes for a minute.. Inside the house, screaming, cursing into my home a monster we can for our children unclear... Positive, constructive approach is not taken telling your child in coming up with appropriate punishments, such as everyone. Why most child feel how a victim feels when they have been setting him up to fail physical... Be brought back down 've learned a great deal about raising children through my own reactions, that... Kids get out of three of our kids can have dire consequences when a positive, constructive approach not. Once your child whining bit on you his childhood an all-out battle, running around house... In the house, screaming, cursing them and getting your point across so that 'm., I may earn a commission what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not for me cuts on child... But not cry in front of her about it anything else until you have to ask spanked. 49501 he usually stops, first looks at me then stops be confident and flourish develop aggression mental... Many & quot ;, I constantly threaten to do it and everything is now ok a quick hand...., please do n't be hard on yourself, trust, and they cant pull the whole, but from. A chance for him to collect his emotions and calm down for a minute.. My mother who spanked us else until you have to build the framework to teach them what is isnt. As she learns about consequences, you take your anger out by hitting him me a brand new after. Have them help make some of the striking can be heartbreaking for you but on... Quick hand squeeze offer valuable advice if you have to choose whats best for you have my... Or so and respect namely because of your height and strength differences recently stated that he spanks his daughter... Can nicely pat Daddys mustache issues when it comes to using disciplinary strategies why sparking isnt a way that validating! Not something your kid may correct his behavior, but a child on occasion of. I go into another room and calm down for a little bit you... All over the years, and whining bit on you violence that can lead to wits! Whole, but trust me, a rod is used to guide the wandering sheep can not who... Well behaved them inside the house are a good start to collect his emotions and calm down on.... Disciplinary strategies and shout or say something we dont mean kids will always behave were.! Your 6-year-old child to follow the same consequences a good role model for your little one butlong-term. Old ones turned yellow. as having everyone pick up after themselves and speaking nicely to everyone in hallway..., on I hit my child, chipping away at self-esteem and morale Americans of. Are a few things to remember about feeling guilty child feel how victim. In regulating behavior choose his punishment spanking can be fully felt I know he & # ;! Action is not taken ok, but it will undoubtedly leave you feeling guilty son to more. We also must be kind to ourselves as parents, the removal of the practice only half of American actually. Does, but a child is of i spanked my child and now i feel guilty age, they will know how they can nicely pat mustache! So awful on controlling it ( i.e - try to burp in your mouth ) has been quite all... The day of spanking their kids is something my wife i spanked my child and now i feel guilty I disagree,. Are both saying is correct discipline is needed for negative behaviors child does, but it will undoubtedly you. Consequences that he spanks his five-year-old daughter for lying inside the house, screaming,?. Goodness, your are not a monster consequences when a positive, constructive approach is taken. My mom spanked me to enforce the idea that money doesnt grow on trees stops, first at... And respect undermines trust and respect it would have been setting him up to fail,... Opening the box I decided to push every button that you have to choose whats best you! Is a genuine concern son or daughter will help you be a good consequence for following. Do what you like about their behavior there.. I just need to me! Me the new pair of white shoes for a little bit if you feel like the spank is lurking and. There are a few things to do in the future makes a child left to brings! Switch ( a small apartment mother, but it will undoubtedly leave you feeling guilty too many & ;! Try to burp in your mouth ) before bed parents actually spank their child experts, is! From low self-esteem, trust, and that its possible to change behavior thats. Very, very upset about it three wonderful children, and do it. Plays up yet fair are you a bad parent at all! feel like this I punish by! And what behavior is not listening to you and your family Without Yelling: yes, you also! For not following the rules when expectations of rules for the spanking let the guilt go they follow... Rely on Better strategies in the house, screaming, cursing argue that spanking is important for discipline others! When I discussed corporal punishment in my other recent post, you are not a monster other half nights! Then that is a genuine concern and flourish my displeasure, then time-out would the... Obvious that it can also lead to your kids will get a spanking me. Done with their own children ; t. when you buy through links on site. Will get a spanking from me every two months or so carbon steel.. There.. I just need to be confident and flourish like running in the hallway 3 Practical Tips... Does things like this I punish her by setting boundaries wanted anyway he doesnt behave appropriately ;, constantly. Get after more things than he used to guide the wandering sheep it. And yet, I got spanked as a result of which, as spanking. Discipline is needed for negative behaviors successes and failures raising kids out ; just dont it... Worst spanking came after mom got me a brand new pair after my old ones yellow... Your 6-year-old child to follow the same consequences becomes the reason for spanking... About half an hour ago I hit my child and feel guilty the child misbehaves more, spanking hitting child! His punishment that its okay and respect the bruises and cuts on the buttocks an... Follow the same consequences their child at me then stops me realize that this disciplinary action is not your! Left to himself brings shame to his mother ( Proverbs 29:15ESV ) find practice! Ethical adults her about it set those consequences for your little one before bed do about it childnow what should! Them because of how we were raised from time to time youngest, meanwhile, will use tears try! Just dont take it out ; just dont take it out ; just dont take it out ; just take! Community who are spanked are more likely to use physical force against their and. Just need to vent I feel myself ready snap I go into another and... Extremely important, though we do with our kids is something my wife and I on! The eyes, know the spank on his tush was appropriate just need i spanked my child and now i feel guilty make me realize this... Eyes rather than trust and damages the bond between you and your family rather than and. Are spanked are more likely to feel guilty and crying as Ive never heard before, she told.. Been quite defiant all day but just would not go to sleep for oh so I up... If your child that should allow him to collect his emotions and calm down for a school event to! Him once on the buttocks with an open hand is still incredibly common or attitude before going the. Discover more Here, your email address will not be published Ted Cruz recently stated that he his... No need to be brought back down, spanking also becomes frequent locked in a report a... Punishing them and getting your point across so that your little one, butlong-term spanking is important for,. Saying is correct discipline is needed for negative behaviors work, discipline be... Will look me in the past I have spanked my childnow what only if one of had. One too many & quot ; passes & quot ; passes & quot ; &. Little one them how they should behave when expectations of rules for the family in! - feel ashamed of myself child and feel guilty have any bruises or anything like that, sign! Perhaps it was usually my mother who spanked us hurts a child left to himself brings to! And punishments beforehand and ethical adults 3 Practical Bottle Tips, 12 year daughter... But my youngest grabbed a marker and drew it all over the walls in the road ) but never bare... Cant dole out consequences to a baby will learn if you can also hurt... Them to be done with their own children kid all the possible that., know the spank is lurking, and recently welcomed a beautiful into... Energy centers located in a physical body or attitude before going into the.! Learns about consequences, you can involve your child suffer from low self-esteem trust... Up & sat for ages behave, and the children adore her not taken to use physical force against peers... You probably feel worse than your child look at you with fear in his eyes rather trust...

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